Me and God

Iam a firm believer of god.But i had many sleepless nights earlier thinking about many things regarding god like are there so many gods?,if god created all of us,who created god?,if there is god,there should be evils and are there evils?,If there is god,isnt he the full controller and therefore the idea of atheism was also preached by him? etc

As i was born in a traditional hindu family and society,my thoughts were always controlled by that ideology.Sometimes i was also confused by other relegions and their idea of god .I was inspired by the example of 'elephant and blinds' to somehow get rid of that.And the society and media also had a influence in me for solving many of my doubts.

My assumptions are that there is a 'central power' in the universe.That is god.God cannot be 'seen','touched','smelt','tasted','heard' simply with our senses.But it is all these and/or above all these.Its all above that and we people are 'strengthless' to discover an extra sense.But there may be great 'hrishis' or 'preists' who can have those.But i read in some book that Vedas ,if my memory is right,its Rigveda preaches this ideology .But there are 'vigrahas' or shapes for god so as to satisfy a common man who cant get into his other sense.And about the theory of 'many gods' and 'many traditions',i think,can also be satisfied with this assumption.People of different cultures,eras needed a god and there discoveries are all god,but singly none is god(this can be explained with the theory of the blinds and the elephant).And when saying about christianity and islam,these theories also can fulfil the satisfying explanations.

And the question of who created god,to say the truth,still im not satisfied by the answer that my mind derived.But hinduism says that god was self created from infinity.Some other beliefs say god was always there ,is there and will always be there.But im still not satisfied with them....

And are there evils as the relegious books teches such as 'asura' and others that are considered to be evils in hindu tradition and 'satans' that is said in other beleifs?Isnt they something physical?And isnt the theory of god much more spiritual?Some taught me that if there is god,there is evil also.But my 'illetracy' is that is the evil deeds in the real life which is physical only mentioned in that way?May or may not,im somewhat confused.And though i dont have a real experience,i have many beleving stories regarding these things.


And another thing,i have to mention is that,if god is the controller and everything,why all these problems in this world?Cant god solve everything.But the answer that my mind gave is that god wants the life to be a fight between lies and truths.Then only there is a meaning.I dont belive that god is only truth.My belief is that everything which are considered bad like crimes are also god.If god is truth and lies are satans,i belive that god is power less.I firmly belive that if there is satan,then it is also a creation of god himself.


I dont belive in any relegion or tradition merely.But i belive in god,it may be called as 'energy' by Eienstin,power by atheists or whatever.But there is something which guides everything.And i belive that the largest temple should be our minds and we should place god there.

Though im a leftist,i belive in god.But my concept is not with respect to any compulsions or teachings.I have my own beliefs,may be true or false that time will teach me

And to add,im addicted to my dear Neyyattinkara Unnikannan.Hes my god,lord,best friend and everything.Im sure he had transformed my life.And ofcourse u need something called fate relegiously and luck by atheists and other scientific people for anything.I belive that he gave me many things.Eventhough im talking physically and not spiritually,hes my everything.I contribute myself as his 'kanikka' or 'contribution to my lord'...I dont belive in giving some rupees as kanikka.U take me whole Kanna as ur 'Kanikka'!!